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How To Text A Girl On Tinder?

  • 17 min read
  • Mark 
How To Text A Girl On Tinder?

How To Text A Girl On Tinder?

Texting is the most common way to communicate nowadays. People send texts to each other all day long. You can even text girls on Tinder if you want to meet new people.

If you’re feeling confident, you can ask the girl out on a date. But remember, you’re playing a game here. So, don’t push too hard. Instead, let things happen naturally.

To begin a conversation with a girl on Tinder, you’ll need to upload a picture of yourself. Then, write a short sentence describing yourself. Next, add a couple of interesting facts about yourself. Finally, swipe right on the girl’s photo. If she likes you, she’ll swipe right on your photo. Then start by asking a question about her. Ask questions about her interests, hobbies, favorite movies, etc. Be genuine and sincere.

Here are some tips for making sure you get asked out on a date:

Get The Conversation Started

Get The Conversation Started

A great way to start a conversation with a girl on Tinder is to ask a question about her. You should try to avoid asking generic questions like “what do you think?” or “how was your day?” Instead, ask an effective question that relates to her interests or hobbies.

Once you’ve found a subject you two have in common, pick a detail you’re genuinely interested in. Something that you’d actually enjoy talking about. For example, if you’re both fans of the TV series Game Of Thrones, talk about the latest episode. Or if you both love traveling, talk about your next vacation destination.

From there, find a detail that you share in common and ask her about it. For example, if she mentions that she enjoys playing video games, ask her about her favorites. Or if she says she loves watching movies, ask her about her recent movie obsession.

Maintain High Message Quality

Texting a girl on tinder isn’t rocket science, but there are a lot of factors that affect whether or not she’ll respond. You should never send her a generic high-quality message, especially if you haven’t met her in person. Instead, try sending her a message that shows off your personality and interests.

Finally, keep your magic messages short and sweet. Don’t ramble on endlessly about yourself. Instead, focus on telling her what you find attractive about her. She wants to hear about you, not about herself.

Pay Attention To Details Rather Than General Observations

Pay Attention To Details Rather Than General Observations

If you’re trying to text a girl on tinder, then paying attention to the details is key.

  • You should pay attention to the details of the conversation itself. What does she say? How does she respond? Does she seem interested? These are all questions that you should answer in your messages.
  • You should pay attention to your tone. Women generally prefer controversial messages that sound friendly and non-threatening.
  • Instead of saying “Hey babe!”, say something like “I was wondering if you wanted to get together for coffee sometime?”

This way, you’ll be able to engage her without coming across as creepy or aggressive. And, if she likes you enough, she may even agree to meet up with you!

Express A Belief, Value, Or Goal.

You’ve probably heard the saying “Tell me what you believe, value, or goal and I’ll tell you who you are”. Well, if you really want to impress a girl on tinder, you should express those beliefs, values, or goals through your profile picture.

For example, let’s say you’re interested in dating girls who enjoy watching action movies. You could write something like this:

Girl: What kind of movies does watch?

Generic guy: Action movies.

You: Anything that makes me chuckle at life’s shortcomings. So…Office Space was on my favorites list.

Provide Enough Information For Her To Ask You Questions

You should never send a woman a message without providing enough information for her to ask you questions. If she asks you any questions at all, then you’ll be able to provide answers that show off your personality and interests.

Keep It Brief And Simple

Text conversations should be short and sweet. You don’t want to bore your girl with a monologue, especially if she isn’t really interested in talking to you. Keep it simple and direct. Don’t try to impress her with your knowledge of literature or philosophy. Instead, focus on making her laugh or smile.

You’ll find that girls are more open to chatting with you when you make the text conversation interesting for both of them. The number of messages should be under 20 words, or just a couple of lines long. These types of tinder messages are quick and easy to reply to, which keeps the text conversation flowing.

For example, here are some examples of texts that I’ve sent to women on Tinder:

  • What kind of writing do you write?
  • My dream place would be a small town where there’s lots of nature and close to the ocean. What about you?

It’s always good to ask questions because it proves you’re interested in her, and not just her appearance. When you ask her questions you’ll also gain more information to build stronger connections with her.

Use A Sense Of Humor

Women appreciate guys who try to make them laugh. But, sometimes, we forget that men can feel awkward when trying to crack jokes. That’s why it’s important to practice using a sense of humor. Women appreciate guys who don’t take themselves too seriously.

So, attempt a joke! Whether she laughs or has a good-humored chuckle on the other end, she’ll appreciate that you don’t take yourself too seriously at all times. For example:

She: No tattoos, no earrings, no piercings, no tattoos.

You: I used to think of putting one down my cheek because I totally murdered some pizzas.

This is a great way to show her that you’re willing to lighten up and have a little bit of fun. She’ll appreciate that you don‘t take yourself too seriously at any point in time.

Pay Attention To Minor Details

You’ll notice that I’ve used the word “girl” several times throughout this article. That’s because women are generally more interested in men who pay attention to minor details. Women tend to appreciate guys who listen and respond intelligently.

So, when trying to impress a girl, try to remember a small detail that she has shared with you in a fluid conversation. Then, ask her out using that detail as bait.

Women are attracted to men who pay attention to small details. And, if you show interest in those details, you’ll find yourself getting noticed by women.

But, if you were paying attention to the little details, you might realize that she loves red wine. Then, you could use that knowledge to come up with a witty reply.

Know When To Stop And Tell Her

You’ve found a girl on tinder, and now you’re trying to figure out if you should stop talking to her or not. There are two main reasons why you might want to tell her that you have other things going on.

  • If you’re really busy, you may want to let her know so she doesn’t think you’re ghosting her.
  • If you’re having fun chatting with her, you may want to continue chatting until you run out of things to say.

There are times when you shouldn’t keep talking to a girl on tinder. If you’re busy and can’t have a back-and-forth conversation, then it’s okay to let her know so that she doesn’t think you are ghosting her.

Letting her know that you have other things to do is respectful and shows that you value her time. Plus, it lets her know that you won’t be able to talk to her right away.

Request A Date With Her

You’ve probably heard the saying “you never know until you try”. Well, that applies here. Sometimes, you might not know whether or not you should ask a girl out until you actually do. However, there are certain signs that indicate that now is the time to ask her out.

  • First off, if she asks you questions about yourself, then she wants to get to know you.
  • If she messages you more than three times excitedly, then she really likes you.
  • If she talks about something you two have in common, then she’s interested in getting to know you.
  • If she lives near you, then you’ll definitely be able to hang out soon.
  • Finally, if she asks you to meet at a specific time in the future, then you know that she’s serious about meeting you.

Now that you know what to look for, it’s time to ask her out.

Be Committed

You’ve found a girl on tinder, now what? You should be committed to meeting her, not canceling at the last minute. Be honest and apologize if you have to cancel, but try to find another time to meet instead. Don’t blow her off, and show that you really want to meet her.

She’ll appreciate that you showed up on time and did what you said you were going to do. Plus, she’ll think you’re a great guy who isn’t afraid to admit mistakes and ask for forgiveness.

After A First Date, Follow Up

First dates are exciting, but after a date, you should still try to keep in touch. You never know if you’ll end up dating someone else, so it’s smart to stay connected. Sending a simple text saying thanks for the date is enough to show that you appreciate her time and effort.

Don’t forget to ask about the next time she’s available and suggest a new activity. If you two hit it off well, you might find yourself doing it again soon!

Don’ts For Tinder First Messages

Don’t make any of these common mistakes if you want to get a date from Tinder.

Praise Her Physical Appearance

You’ve found a girl on tinder, now what?! You should definitely compliment her physical appearance. But don’t say anything too cheesy. Try to use the respectful word.

Instead, try saying something along the lines of “you look amazing today!” or “wow, you look really pretty today”. These compliments are subtle enough not to come off as creepy.

Sending Generic Messages Such As “Hey” Or “Hi, How Are You?”

You should never send generic messages such as “hi”, “how are you?”, etc. These types of messages fail to establish any sort of connection between you and the person you’re trying to connect with. These are boring text conversations. Instead, try sending messages that show off your personality and interests.

These types of messages are far more interesting and engaging than generic ones. They give the reader a reason to keep reading and engage with you further.

Being Blatantly Sexual

You’ve probably heard the saying “don’t be too direct”. Well, if you’re trying to get a date with a woman on Tinder, there’s no reason to be direct at all. Tell her what you’re looking for, tell her what she looks like, and ask her questions about herself.

There’s nothing wrong with being blatantly sexual. Women appreciate honesty, especially when it comes to sex. So if you’re interested in getting laid tonight, then you’ll definitely want to be upfront about it.

Remember that women on Tinder are real people. They may not respond well to overt sexuality, so try to keep it lighthearted and funny. Also, remember that you’re sending messages to a random stranger, so be careful about what you say.

Don’t be afraid to be blatant about what you’re looking for. Just be yourself and let her decide whether she wants to hook up with you or not.

Do’s For Tinder First Messages

You should never send a first perfect opening message on Tinder without knowing her interests. You’ll end up sending messages that she doesn’t find interesting, and she won’t respond to you. Follow these suggestions for the first time messaging on tinder:

Perfection In Personalization

Personalized messaging is a great way to break the ice with girls on Tinder. You’ll notice that most of the messages above were funny, lighthearted, and playful. These types of personalized messages are usually received well because they show that you’re interested in getting to know the person better.

You don’t necessarily have to be witty or funny to write a personalized message. Sometimes, just showing interest in the person through a simple comment or compliment is enough to spark a conversation.

For example, here’s a message I sent to a girl on Tinder:

  • How do you feel about the weather today?
  • I’m guessing you’re feeling cold right now…

Add Her First Name In Your Message

Adding her first name in your message is a great way to start off a conversation on Tinder with a girl on Tinder. It subconsciously creates a connection between you and her, making it easier for her to respond positively to your messages.

You should only include her first name in your initial message though. Don’t ask questions or try to talk about anything else until she responds to you. Otherwise, she may think you’re trying to hit on her.

Use her first name in your first message to let her know you’ve already made a connection with her. Then, once she replies, you can continue talking about whatever you’d like.

Start With A Funny GIF

If you’re not familiar with Tinder, it’s a dating app where users swipe right to indicate interest and left to pass. You can send powerful messages to anyone who swiped right on you, and you can only chat with those who’ve already sent you a message.

Studies show that starting a conversation with a GIF works well with women who appear to embrace 2018 trends. Basically girls with Snapchat dog filter pics, selfies, and a lot of emojis in their bio. Starting an engaging text conversation with a GIF also seems to work better with girls whose bios include lots of emojis.

Incite Emotion

A great way for a conversation starter with a woman on Tinder is to incite emotion. You want to make her feel something! It doesn’t matter what emotion you spark; just do anything to avoid being boring and lifeless. A good rule of thumb is to avoid sounding like a robot.

Send something that grabs her attention. Something that makes her curious. Something that brings a smile to her face or makes her wonder about you.

Emotion-evoking first Tinder conversations work best for generic profiles. When you’re struggling to think of something witty to say, you’ll find that generic profiles tend to work best.

I’d Like To Play A Game

There are lots of fun games you can play on Tinder. You can ask her if she likes any specific movies, TV shows, music artists, sports teams, etc. Or you can simply ask her a question that requires no answer.

For example, you can ask her if she wants to watch a movie tonight. Then you can suggest a couple of options, like Netflix, Amazon Prime Video, Hulu Plus, YouTube, etc.

You can also ask her if she plays video games. Then you can recommend a game that you think she’ll enjoy playing.

Snog, Marry, And Avoid

You should never ask a girl on tinder anything personal. You’ll only end up getting rejected. Instead, try asking her about her interests, hobbies, favorite movies, books, music, etc.

Good go-to topics with women include spirituality and astrology. Ask her about her beliefs, religion, spiritual practices, and any special events she may be celebrating. Women love talking about themselves, so this is a great opportunity to find common ground.

Asking “Would You Rather” Questions

You should never ask a girl on tinder if she would rather eat chocolate ice cream or vanilla ice cream. Instead, try asking her questions that will give her insight into whether she likes you or not. Here are some examples of great questions to ask girls on tinder:

  • What kind of music does she listen to?
  • Do you prefer sports or movies?
  • What’s your favorite color?
  • What’re your hobbies?
  • What’d you do last weekend?
  • What’ve you done lately?
  • What’ll we do tonight?

Keeping The Conversation Going

Texting an amazing girl on Tinder is a bit different than texting a party girl you meet at a bar or club. You’ll want to keep the conversation flowing and not wait too long between messages.

Girls on Tinder have the attention span of goldfish, so you’ll want to keep the successful conversations moving quickly. Don’t waste her time by sending a message back right away. Instead, try to keep the conversation going in the present.


Do Not Brag

You should never brag about anything. Even if you think you’re awesome, chances are she doesn’t agree. So, keep it simple and focus on talking about her.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to feel attractive and desirable, but there’s definitely something wrong with bragging about it. You’ll find that most girls on Tinder are not interested in hearing about your accomplishments or achievements.

Do Not Be Serious

You should never treat dating apps like interviews. You shouldn’t ask questions like: What’s your favorite sport/hobby? Do you go out partying a lot? What’s your favorite food? These types of questions are not only boring, but they come off as creepy and weird.

This approach will give you a better idea of whether or not you’d actually hit it off with your match. And if you do hit it off, you’ll be able to start planning dates and making plans for future activities.

Subject Sticking

Don’t forget to keep the conversation moving. Don’t stay stuck on any one topic for too long. Instead, switch between topics every now and then.

This will show her that you’re interested in her and that you’re willing to listen to her. Plus, it shows her that you’re not afraid to try new things.

She’ll be gagging for a man who takes risks and tries new things. So, give her the opportunity to do the same.


Funny And Playful

Another tip is to avoid asking personal questions. Don’t ask a girl what she thinks about politics, religion, or any other sensitive topics. These types of questions are not appropriate during the early stages of dating.

Instead, focus on making her laugh to have a real relationship. Ask her what she thinks about current events, sports, or pop culture. Make sure you keep the conversation fun and lighthearted. Avoid asking serious questions or bringing up your life stories.


This is a really cool idea for texting an awesome girl on tinder. You’ll find yourself laughing at her responses and getting to know her better. Plus, if you’re lucky enough to meet her in person, you’ll have a lot of material to work with. Role-play is a great way to get your partners out of their daily lives.

Take On The Challenge. Make Her Chase You By Flipping The Switch

You’ve probably heard the saying, “Give a man a fish and he eats for a day; teach him to fish and he eats for life.”

That’s exactly what happens when you give a woman a challenge. She starts thinking about how she can win your heart. And once she does, she’ll never let you go.


You should listen carefully to what she says. You’ll notice that she mentioned lions, so you might say something along the lines of:

This shows that you listened to what she said and took note of it. She mentioned lions, so you responded by asking her what kind of music she listens to. Then you followed up with a compliment about being a big fan of lions, which makes her feel special.



Mark is a Qualified Psychologist & An Algorithm Coach at some of the leading online dating sites. Besides his work, Mark enjoys writing about topics people tend to ask when starting out in the online dating scene, and hence the site A place to share insights and answer some of those pressing questions.View Author posts

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